The Jaffe Briefing – October 23, 2018
TRENTON – Pot smokers aren’t your only typical slackers. Apparently, the New Jersey Legislature is a little sluggish these days, as well, when it comes to keeping with its self-imposed deadline to vote on legalizing pot. Everyone around the bong has been talking about Oct. 29, the deadline for the big vote. But now that vote could happen by Dec. 17, as lawmakers make sure they have the votes and debate how much to charge in sales tax. The concern? If taxes are too high, you might just keep buying from that red-eyed guy who has been supplying you for years.
PISCATAWAY – At least there’s one winner when it comes to Rutgers football. There’s an anonymous gambler in Vegas known as “Duffel Bag Boy,” who, Yahoo reports, has made an absolute killing betting against the Scarlet Knights over the past two dismal seasons. The team rarely covers the spread, and that means hundreds of thousands of dollars (if not millions) for people like Duffel Bag Boy, who actually walks around the various sports books in Vegas with his duffel bag of cash. With Rutgers getting blown out by such mediocre teams as Kansas and Buffalo, and with no real end in sight, Duffel Bag Boy may invest in a second bag. He can certainly afford it.
HACKENSACK – Pizza is sacred to all of us Jerseyans – but to nobody more than Mike Roman. The grade school math teacher, 41, claims he has eaten pizza – plain, no toppings – for dinner nearly every day since age 4. Over 35 years. Over 13,500 days, including Thanksgivings and other major (and minor) holidays. He ate pizza at his wedding and on his Aruba honeymoon. Roman, a recent guest on Tom La Vecchia’s podcast “New Theory,” surprisingly has a normal weight, no health problems, and says pizza is never boring: “Every day I’m just as fascinated as the day before.”
TOMS RIVER – Nothing unusual about former Presidents, Vice Presidents or Secretaries of State stumping for House candidates. But Democrat Andy Kim has TV action hero Piper Perabo actually pounding on doors in the 3rd Congressional District. Perabo, a Toms River native and star of the TV spy drama “Covert Affairs,” has joined Kim’s door-to-door canvassers in his battle to unseat GOP Rep. Tom MacArthur. Perabo made headlines in September for getting arrested while protesting Senate confirmation hearings for Supreme Court Judge Brett Kavanaugh. Her apparent punishment? Talking sense to voters in backwater South Jersey.
IN OTHER IMPORTANT NEWS
KANSAS CITY, Mo. – He blew it. A man whose excessive farting forced a police detective to flee an interrogation room has pleaded guilty to federal gun and drug charges. The Kansas City Star reports that 25-year-old Sean Sykes Jr. entered the plea yesterday, after cops found him with a backpack full of drugs and guns. A detective reported that when asked for his address, Sykes “leaned to one side of his chair and released a loud fart before answering.” Court documents say Sykes “continued to be flatulent” and the gasping detective – desperate for fresh air – ran from the interrogation room. Sykes will be sentenced at a later date, with his future cellmate likely the biggest loser in all this.
ON THE HIGH SEAS – Yay! More than 1,500 people lost their lives on the Titanic, so let’s create an awesome tourism attraction and make a ton of money off it. And, so, a replica of the Titanic will be setting sail in 2022, retracing the exact route that led to painful, shocking deaths of many men, women and children. And, whoopee! You, too, can experience a ship with the exact same layout and interiors, as you sip champagne, head from Southampton, England to New York, and take photos of icebergs. No, Jack, no.
THIS DAY IN HISTORY
Beauty became eternal on this day in 1814, when plastic surgery was first introduced.
WORD OF THE DAY
Superjacent – [soo-pər-JAY-sənt] – adjective
Definition: Lying above or beyond; overlaying
Example: Suburban streets thread through my neighborhood, watched over by my superjacent castle.
WEATHER IN A WORD
Crisp
THE NEW 60
A Jaffe Briefing exclusive
by Andy Landorf & John Colquhoun
