Mountain Lakes teen Thomas Kolding puts spotlight on runaways

Photos of a smiling and boyish Thomas Kolding, the 15-year-old who ran away from his Mountain Lakes home right before Halloween, have graced the front pages of many newspapers, TV news broadcasts and the internet.

Reports of sightings and prayer vigils for his safe return make headlines. Many hope the publicity will help get Thomas back home to his mother, father and two brothers.

Thomas is not out there alone. There are an estimated 1.3 million underage runaways on any given day in America, according to the  National Runaway Switchboard.

The problem is a serious one, say advocates for the young runaways.

There are currently 313 active missing juveniles under the age of 18 in New Jersey, according to New Jersey State Police. Approximately 85 percent of them are listed as runaways, said Detective. Sgt. Joel D. Trella of the NJ State Police Missing Persons Unit. Of the missing, Trella said 99 percent are eventually located.

Homeless runaway youths are at a higher risk for physical abuse, sexual exploitation, mental health disabilities, substance abuse and death. It is estimated that 5,000 unaccompanied youths die each year as a result of assault, illness or suicide.

There are more girls than boys who run away, with the most common age for both being between 13 and 17.

Story continues below photo gallery.

How to report child is missing

Parents should report their child is missing to police first, then to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children: 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678).

In New Jersey the State Police Missing Persons unit was established in 1984 and is responsible for coordinating and investigating cases involving missing persons with other agencies.

County Prosecutor’s Offices also get involved and can activate what is known as a County CART (Child Abduction Response Team) response. The rapid response is not limited to abducted children and can be used for missing children and adults.

An AMBER alert is issued when a child is abducted and authorities believe the abducted child is in danger of death or serious bodily injury.

“Otherwise, police look for each child reported missing until that child is recovered,” Trella said. “Police will utilize all available resources to recover that child.”

There are many facets to a missing persons problem, according the State Police. The Missing Persons Unit also collects and maintains a centralized database on all missing and unidentified persons who are reported in New Jersey. 

As the unit matured in it’s work it began to observe a strong correlation between runaway children and the sexual exploitation of these children either before or during the runaway episode. A unit within the State Police Missing Persons investigates the sexual exploitation of children in the state.

Why they run away

Every runaway’s situation is different, said Becky Kovar, a spokeswoman for the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. One child might run away from foster care to go back to their biological family while another may run away from their biological family to a friend’s house.

Among the common reasons are: family problems that include physical and sexual abuse; mental health disorders of a family member; substance abuse and addiction of a family member; and parental neglect, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures.

There was a higher risk of runaway homelessness reported among youths who are black, Hispanic, lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, youths in foster care and young parents and those who did not complete high school, according to the study.

Some will leave home in the morning for school and not come home at the end of the day, Kovar said. Friends’ homes are a good place to begin a search, she said. Some send a goodbye text and explain they are leaving because they feel like they can’t live up to their family’s standards.

In some cases children are lured away by someone they are speaking to online or have met in person, she said.

“They leave willingly and they might get in a vehicle willingly, but the second that they’re gone they’re not staying away willingly,” Kovar said. “The situation can change in any moment,” she said.

“They did pack that bag and they did walk out the door, but now they’re ready to come home and the person they’re with is not allowing them to do that.”

Resources for runaways

Runaways can seek help by calling the state hotline for runaway and homeless youth at 973-458-3387. The national “Runaway Safeline” is 1-800-RUNAWAY or 1-800-786-2929.

Isaiah House in East Orange is one of seven first line emergency shelters for runaways in New Jersey. The other shelters with Basic Center Programs in the state are in Hackensack, Bridgewater, Camden, Elizabeth, Hackensack, Toms River, and Trenton.

The East Orange facility’s Executive Director Zammeah Bivins-Gibson said the number of homeless and runaway teens may be bigger than what the state records show.

There were 49 documented cases of unaccompanied homeless children under the age of 18 living in New Jersey in 2017, according to data kept by the state. But those numbers aren’t accurate, Bivins-Gibson said because not every one is counted. If a minor is living on a friend’s couch and then another’s, they are not counted and recognized as being homeless.

“It definitely is an issue,” she said. “It just goes a little bit more under the radar because kids couch surf a lot more.”

More: Mountain Lakes runaway believed to be ‘safe,’ spotted in Philadelphia, Camden

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There are about 30 shelters for runaway youths under age 18 listed on nj211.org, a state and non-profit-funded human resources site. There are some for adults between 18 and 21 years old. The website also offers assistance to victims of abuse and to lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender youth, and others.

Runaways, homeless minors, and children at risk of becoming homeless can be referred to Isaiah House by anyone including police, hospitals, schools and juvenile facilities.

“We just happen to be in Essex County, but that doesn’t mean we won’t take kids from anywhere,” Bivins-Gibson said.

“There really isn’t any red tape,” Bivins-Gibson said. “We can either pick the child up or they can drop the child off.”

After a placement assessment the youth is sheltered in one of the Isaiah House facilities for 21 days or longer if needed. The intake process is designed to make the youths feel safe. They are reassured they won’t be immediately reported to authorities, she said. 

“We reassure them that that is not what we’re trying to do,” Bivins-Gibson said. “That we intend to help them.”

Ultimately they may be referred to the Department of Children and Families, but not before attempts are made to reunify them with a family member or have them placed at another location where they can receive medical care if needed.

As part of the intake process attempts are made to determine if there is a dangerous situation at home.

“We do everything in a pretty accelerated pace so that we can try to get it done within those time-frames,” Bivins-Gibson said. “But they live here at the shelter in a safe environment and they’re basically parented through the process.”

At the end of the 21 days if the child can’t be reunified with a family member, or they aren’t moved to an alternate location, the Division of Child Protection and Permanency (formerly known as DYFS) will be contacted. 

“But we let the child know that in advance,” she said. “Because they are legally a minor the state of New Jersey has a responsibility to find alternative placement for them.”

The child has the option of refusing, something that is uncommon Bivins-Gibson said, but is a possibility if the person is approaching age 18 and wants to go out on his or her own.

The program at Isaiah House is new, so Bivins-Gibson said they work closely with schools and hospitals and they go out on the street to look for homeless youth. They also help children obtain identification documents if they want them.

The young runaways may not turn to Isaiah because they are afraid. Once there they sometimes don’t want to leave because it’s a good environment, she said. 

Running away is not a criminal offense in New Jersey. The state has procedures in place if a runaway crosses into another state, as Kolding has according to surveillance video of him in the Philadelphia area. 

New Jersey is a member of the Interstate Compact on Juveniles, along with the other 49 states, the District of Columbia and Guam. The Compact establishes guidelines to follow for the return of runaways to their home state.

Resources

• The National Runaway Safeline is a resource center for runaways and parents. In addition to the phone line (1-800-RUNAWAY) support is available via chat, email, and a public forum. 
• Runaways can seek help by calling the state hotline for runaway and homeless youth at 973-458-3387. The national “Runaway Safeline” is 1-800-RUNAWAY or 1-800-786-2929.
•  Parents should report their child is missing to police first, then to the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children: 1-800-THE-LOST (1-800-843-5678).

The statistics:

According to the National Conference of State Legislatures studies show:

• One in seven young people between the ages of 10 and 18 will run away.
• Youth age 12 to 17 are more at risk of homelessness than adults.
• 75 percent of runaways are female.
• Estimates of the number of pregnant homeless girls are between 6 and 22 percent.
• Between 20 and 40 percent of homeless youth identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or questioning (GLBTQ).
• 46 percent of runaway and homeless youth reported being physically abused, 38 percent reported being emotionally abused , and 17 percent reported being forced into unwanted sexual activity by a family or household member.
• 75 percent of homeless or runaway youth have dropped out or will drop out of school.

Follow Jai Agnish on Twitter: @JaiAgnish.

Email: agnish@northjersey.com.

 

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