Tom Coughlin Jay Fund Foundation taking pressure off families fighting pediatric cancer – NJ.com

Organized by the Tom Coughlin Jay Fund Foundation, about 30 families with a member fighting pediatric cancer, were able to watch former NFL player-turned-chef Derrell Smith put on a veritable show about pickling last month.

There were a lot of smiles, questions about pickling, showing off bottles of brine, and discussion on how it’s perfectly okay for the range of foods that can be pickled to be an acquired taste.

The Tom Coughlin Jay Fund Foundation has been around for 25 years, created by the former Giants coach (2004-2015) in honor of a player from much earlier in his career. Jay McGillis was a member of Coughlin’s team at Boston College. When McGillis was diagnosed with leukemia, Coughlin witnessed the tremendous strains on the McGillis family in the eight months from then until he passed. The foundation is a testament to Coughlin’s vow to help families with a member battling pediatric cancer by letting them be there for each other – without having to worry about the financial costs.

It’s a mission made even more critical because of the pandemic – at the height of which the foundation reported a 52% increase in requests for emergency financial assistance.

For Smith, partnering with the Tom Coughlin Jay Foundation was a no-brainer.

In an interview by phone earlier last week, he recalled one of the foundation’s family members catching one of a few episodes of a cooking show called “Make this Tonight” he’d made in January.

“(They saw) that I went to Syracuse and they reached out to Tom Coughlin, who’s also a Buckeye, so when they started to explain the nonprofit and they explained they were trying to do, it was a no-brainer, because growing up in the inner-city I knew a lot of people’s parents who were on WIC,” Smith said.

“I just tried to think of creative ways we could not only just provide some type of entertainment for the families but then also to leave them with something that they can use after the entertainment is done, so that’s where WIC came in.”

Smith developed a menu and cooking classes that help make the most of the free to low cost food available to those on WIC.

“This is where it’s so challenging for families that the Tom Coughlin Jay Fund serves,” said Lynn Chwatsky, managing director of the NY/NJ Area at Tom Coughlin Jay Fund Foundation. “So on top of the pandemic you have families who are struggling how to help a child with cancer, and good nutrition is so important – good nutrition for those who have a very limited income, but then you have a child with cancer and cancer and treatment affect a child’s appetite and their ability to restore nutrients, so it is really so critical that we help these families, inform these families, and help get access to food and also understand that the importance of healthy eating before their treatment, during their treatment, and after their treatment.”

“So this partnership with Derrell is amazing example of that. When we first started our conversations with Derrell, it was, okay these are families who many of them are on a limited budget, so what can we do that’s healthy and that everyone can sort of be part of … They’re living a very challenging life, struggling with access to food, struggling with a child with cancer.

“A program like with Derrell that looks at everyday ingredients in their house that they can create delicious meals, healthy meals that they can then take those principles and apply to other opportunities,” Chrawtsky said, “so we’re really excited about Derrell, his passion, his attitude and the way he works perfectly for how we serve our families on a daily basis.”

Smith credits growing up as an athlete with making him familiar with the idea of obstacles being par for the course.

“I was Gatorade Player of the Year for Delaware High School, went to Syracuse on a full scholarship. I was a dual-major in IT and marketing, and then I have a graduate degree from Newhouse in advertising. My junior and senior year I had two knee surgeries, then went to the NFL and had that career-ending neck injury, went back to grad school to finish up there and decided to work in advertising for five years. I won a meatball competition and decided to take that on full-time (establishing 99 Eats, LLC) and was laid off from my job a few months after that.

“With all of those things, I was just able to reinvent myself, so this whole idea of persevering through difficult … I don’t know … I think everything is difficult. If I had a nine to five job that would be difficult, if I did something else that would be difficult, so why not just do what I like to do and find some kind of pleasure in the difficulty of doing it for myself?”

The Tom Coughlin Jay Fund Foundation is something Smith said he knows is worth his time.

Gabriella DeFilippo,18, is one of the Tom Coughlin Jay Fund Foundation’s 2019 scholarship winners. A two-time cancer survivor (2014 and then again in 2020), Gabrielle is a freshman at Montclair State University, where she is studying adolescent clinical psychology with the intention of getting a doctoral degree that builds off that.

Her mother, Kimberly DeFilippo is “old enough to have an 18-year-old daughter and a 23-year marriage,” she noted. The DeFilippo family is based in Essex County.

“The pandemic certainly added a layer of stress to our day-to-day lives while coping with Gabby’s second cancer diagnosis and discovery of Grave’s Disease, and me, Gabby’s mom, being furloughed from my career,” Kimberly DeFilippo said. “While the stimulus monies and unemployment helped, I was not banking the money needed for our budget. The Tom Coughlin Jay Fund Foundation helped us stay on track and not fall further into debt.”

While many people are trying to get vaccinated against COVID-19 as soon as possible, for the DeFilippos and families in their situation, that prospect is a complicated one.

“Given Gabby’s newest diagnoses, her team of doctors are reluctant for Gabby to receive the vaccine as they would not be able to distinguish between symptoms of her current condition versus symptoms that may be brought on by the vaccine,” said Kimberly DeFilippo. “So for us, much like back in 2014, we have to continue taking quarantining precautions. Gabby’s dad is working from home and both Gabby and her brother are attending college virtually while I am back to work outside of the home.”

Any call for an end to the pandemic is premature, Kimberly DeFilippo believes. “The vaccines are not magic bullets, they will wear off and I am concerned sooner for some than others. With that false sense of being immune, I believe we will see a new rise in cases. Much like the roller coaster you ride when your child is facing a life-threatening disease, there are ups and downs, smooth track and corkscrews. We are not done with the pandemic ride. The best we can do is be patient, understanding, mindful not everyone is on the same journey, not everyone is in the same place, not everyone has the same mindset, so the best we can do is set a good example, pray and hope.”

When it comes to one thing people can do to make life easier for others in their situation, the DeFilippos said, “Double masks all the way!”

Learn more about the Tom Coughlin Jay Foundation at https://tcjayfund.org/.